Thank You for freeing me from myself. Thank You for redeeming me. Thank You for healing me & for making me new again. Thank You for ridding me of my shame. Thank You for loving me, endlessly, unconditionally, and perfectly.
When I think about You, Lord, my heart is overjoyed. My heart is enthralled by the wonder of who You are. I long to know You more. Draw me closer, reveal Your secrets to me, just one at a time. I will enjoy this process, this season, and this time that I have with You.
I will not rush, but enjoy.
In total admiration & love,
I woke up praying for you, thinking of you, and wondering about you. I wonder what it’ll be like to wake up next to you every morning, when that time comes. I wonder what your laugh sounds like. I wonder what your smile looks like.
I’m waiting for you. I’m waiting patiently and with an excited heart! I haven’t met you yet, or maybe I have, but I already know what you’re like. You have the sweetest heart, you absolutely love Jesus without shame or compromise & you’re ready to lead me.
There’s a lot of counterfeit love out here. Love that is not genuine & not pure. Just know that I’m past that kind of love. I’m holding out for what God has called lovely and pure. I’m holding out for the man who will lead me closer to Christ and further from sin.
Keep this man safe. Keep him pure. Keep him in the palm of your hands. I pray that you would bless him & give him all of the desires of his heart. I pray that you would keep him humble in knowing that all of his greatest accomplishments & gifts, comes from You & You alone. Begin the process now, prepare our hearts for one another. Prepare me to be the best woman and wife I can be to your son, that I may be submissive, encouraging, helpful, and always praying. In the season of “waiting” that we are in now, I pray that we would enjoy this freedom & take advantage of all of the uninterrupted time we get to spend with You. May our eyes always be on You, now & forever. You are faithful, Lord.
Some things are just better left unsaid. We are so used to voicing our ideas, opinions, comments-which is fine, but we also need to learn how to be quiet. Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when not to. Your mind may want to say a million things to prove that you’re right, you might even want to lash out on a person because they hurt you, and you might just spat out some words that you will soon regret…
I encourage you to stop.
I encourage you to breathe.
Do not let your reaction dictate your response. It’s okay to be mad & to be hurt, it’s not okay to say whatever you want when you are in this stage of anger or pain. Remember, once your words leave your mouth, they can either cause life or death. You can not take them back.
When you come across a situation that is rather unpleasant, before responding to the other person, take some time. Think about why you’re really upset. Is it because you’re thinking about past pain? Are you harboring unforgiveness and resentment? Think about it before you speak about it.
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." - Proverbs 10:19
So on a night like this, where the sweet smell of summer is all so consuming, & when the heat is warm, yet refreshing.. I’ll let myself miss you. But only for a little while.
I’m reminded of the memories we’ve made & the times we’ve shared. The laughs, the love, every smile & every touch. Unforgettable. & with those beautiful memories, the pain follows shortly. I’ve acknowledged all of my shortcomings and countless mistakes. My words had a tendency to sting, rather than heal, and for that, I am sorry.
I’ve been reflecting on my life all day it seems like & I can only say that I have learned a lot. I have let go of my former self & the ways I thought, acted, and spoke. I am making a daily effort to think before I speak because the truth behind words having the power of life or death, is unreal.
My heart is light, and at peace, it’s healed and full of joy. Of course my off days still come & I have learned that that is okay. It’s okay to be human & to have feelings. So, I’m going to acknowledge the fact that I miss you. I’ll admit that my heart misses the way you spoke to me & held me. I’ll admit that I miss that perfect half smile of yours.
& now, I’m done.
Now, I’ll lay down & journal to my Beloved Savior. I’ll express these feelings in writing to Him & pour my heart out, knowing that I will be filled again. I’ll rest in the fact that all things will be used for His glory & that nothing in my life is a “waste”. I will smile & rest because although I may miss that earthly love experience, my heart is much more satisfied in the eternal Lover of my soul.
Friends, remember, it’s okay to feel. It’s not okay to let your feelings dictate your life because they are so inconsistent. You see, tonight I may miss him, but I didn’t yesterday, & tomorrow.. Is a new day.
So, there’s been a lot of new people in my life lately, which is refreshing yet it causes me to guard myself even more. Especially when it comes to the guys. I’ve been asked out plenty of times recently & I can’t seem to come up with an answer other than “No, thank you.” Why?
Because I don’t want to waste my time.
I’vebecome quite the observer lately & I enjoy letting the actions of others speak for themselves. Right away I can tell if a guy is good news, or bad. Or most importantly, I can tell what level he’s in with his relationship with God (thank you, Holy Spirit for discernment). For one, social media will tell you a lot about a person! No need to get yourself 3+ months deep into talking to someone to find out everything you already knew through what he posts.
Do not be unequally yoked.
& that’s the moral of the story. My time is precious, and I have finally acknowledged that. So, maybe I might come off as stuck up or “expecting too much” to these guys. That’s okay. Why? Because some guy out there is praying for me to keep my standards high because he is so ready to meet them.
Chin up, princess. God has your man waiting & preparing for you.